Derealization

One of the lesser known struggles with mental health is something called derealization. Similar to depersonalization, derealization is the aspect of thinking that everything around you is in fact, not real. Depersonalization is when you think that you are not real, in a world full of real things and people. I have yet to experience depersonalization, however I do experience derealization quite often. It is the most impossible thing to explain; it’s as if you were watching your perspective through a lens. Like you’re watching a movie. Yes, this also means that sometimes you believe that the world is a simulation, which is quite a popular conspiracy theory. The first thing that comes to mind when I go through this process is the exact words “the world is not real. Everything is fake and I’m in a dream.” Going through derealization can be scary, especially if you’re like me and are prone to panic attacks. Your brain starts to run wild and you get past the point of being able to control your thoughts, and your body shuts down. The best way for me to prevent myself from getting to this point is firstly, shake my head. Sometimes the only reason I start to derealize is because I have zoned out for too long and just need to shift my perspective. So I shake the scary thoughts out, and after that I ground myself. I breathe the fresh air outside, the smell of the air really helps to remind me that the scents are real, from mother earth. Following that I remember to use another one of my senses, typically touch is good for me. Touching something cool helps relax my nervous system a lot, and can revive me from the overwhelming sensation of heat. It took me a long time to figure out how to help myself in situations like these, because you can’t always rely on other people. It takes time to learn how your own brain works, surprisingly. If you have read this far, I appreciate that you took the time to hear my story. Nationals is coming up in less than two weeks, and as you can imagine my mental health is spiraling out of control. But with my soothing techniques that I have learned throughout my growth, I know I will be okay. Thank you for listening to such an intricate and personal part of my story, and wish me good luck! <3